To love or be loved!

Most of us fall in love with people for what we lack in ourselves. We expect and imagine that this would fill up the void and the gap we see in our lives. Certainly it does, to an extent on most days. But considering the fact that there are two human minds involved here, chances are everyday is not the same. The pressures of mere survival will never allow people to remain consistent in their behavior and their expression of love. And so the strength that we draw from people we love is inconsistent and might not be there for us when we need them the most. 

On the other hand, we all fall in love to 'be loved'. The joy of being pampered with affection and attention is the highest form of ecstasy. But this kind of feel-good love is vanity because someday or on some days the other person involved would end up feeling drained. 

How many of us fall in love to love? Rarely so. We all build relationships to be loved and my understanding is, it would never work unless the God-factor is involved. We are creatures of love who thrive on being self-centered. It is humanly impossible to exhibit unchanging love  and it is unfair of us to put people in places that only God can fill. We can't be expecting perfect love from people. Even the most intimate relationships has its share of ups and downs. 

Timothy Keller in his book Walking with God through pain and suffering says, 'The only love that won't disappoint you is one that can't change, that can't be lost, that is not based on the ups and downs of life or on how well you live. It is something that not even death can take away from you. God's love is the only thing like that.' 

So let's decide to be in love 'to love', make room for error, learn to overlook the less-loved days, forget the shortcomings and remember that we're in love with mere people. But most importantly let's remember to turn to God, draw from Him the love that flows so freely and unconditionally. If only one feels satiated with this incomprehensible love, we would lack the strength to even feel loved. After all love begins with Him and this is where love is perfected.