Ever been in that span of time when it seems like the heart is losing its rhythm, drained of emotions, the mind no longer thinking, the ability to relate to the present seems to be taking forever? This could be one of the most exhaustive times because we cease to live and start existing.
For me, this was literally draining the colour out of life, because I wanted to be and do right and I had to strive to get there. I read my Bible religiously, prayed every day and enjoyed Church and continued to do the things I used to do; yet there was this funny feeling and it wasn’t just going away. Walking down that road is not a pleasant one.

I’ve always found comfort in music and on one such stressful days, I was listening to this beautiful song by Matt Redman ‘When my heart runs dry’. The simple words opened up the path to healing and restoration. It said, ‘When my heart runs dry….And I’ll remember YOU, I will turn back and do the things I used to do. For the love of YOU.’

Very often and usually after a path of struggle and test of faith, the heart is complacent and tends to rely on this new found inner strength. Without our knowledge, we start trusting our faith more than trusting God himself, the author and finisher of our faith. And so the disconnect. I had to get back to that love. As demanding as any other kind of love is, the devotion and admiration for this Love had to be greater.

All I had to do was turn back and look at the amazing grace that picked me up every time I fell, that watched over me every time I was afraid, that held me every time I cried, that rejoiced with me every time I won, that sat beside me every time I was lonely. That’s all I had to do to fall back into the arms of love. Then praise breaks forth and restores the heart that was devoid of emotions.
“Once again I’ll go over what God has done, lay out on the table the ancient wonders; I’ll ponder all the things you’ve accomplished, and give a long, loving look at your acts.” – Psalm77:11,12 MSG
                                “And once again I look upon the cross where you died
                                I'm humbled by your mercy and I'm broken inside
                                Once again I thank you
                                Once again I pour out my life” – Matt Redman

This has been my song of prayer and it is only by grace one can keep at it.